Could I have this kiss forever?
by Minne-My
Summary: Bernie's not happy about the new F1 harassing Serena. Can her crush on Serena win out? Canon divergence
1. Chapter 1

Bernie Wolfe was many things. Brilliant trauma surgeon. Divorcee. Whiskey drinker. Reluctant hero. Desperate for love lesbian. Particularly that. Desperately seeking Serena in fact. Serena Campbell, biggest crush of her life and she got the dream of working with her every day. It wasn't quite the dream of actually _dating_ her but it was close enough in Bernie's world. They shared an office. They drank coffee together. They made decisions together. Was that not a pretty good deal?

 _This is as good as it's going to get_ thought Bernie, raking her hands through her hair. She headed to the changing room and was about to walk right in when she sensed a private conversation. She held back and waited behind the door.

 _'When is a door not a door? When it's ajar'_ said her son's voice in her head. Cam loved that joke when he was a kid. She knew she shouldn't listen in but she did it anyway. She figured out who it was, a typical day for Serena and the new F1. Leah needed constant supervision and Serena was not happy about. Leah was insolent and arrogant beneath that smirk of hers and Bernie didn't quite trust her. It quickly became apparent that Serena didn't either. Leah rubbed her up the wrong way and no matter what approach Serena took, nothing deterred her in making Serena feel uncomfortable. At this moment, Ms Campbell was ready to throw her down the stairs.

'If you keep asking for supervision over the simplest things you really should know, I'm going to rake over your employment history and find out if you should be here. You shouldn't need this much supervision, Doctor Faulkner.'

Bernie didn't hear the low muttered answer but what she did see very soon after was a shocker. Leah had launched herself forward to meet Serena's lips and Bernie's heart nearly stopped. She slammed her hand over her mouth to cut off the giveaway shout. Leah didn't get the effect she wanted as her target backed away and almost smacked her in the mouth.

'Don't come near me again' she whispered grimly. The look she threw Leah was one of pure hate. Leah looked confused, shocked and angry all at the same time. Bernie's heart thudded loudly and she was sure that they could hear her. But it appeared not and while Leah was vindictively suggesting that there could be trouble ahead if…Bernie took action. She slammed open the door and strode in humming a Dusty Springfield song, aiming for a locker inbetween the warring colleagues. She wrenched one open and threw her stuff in, slammed it shut and locked. Turning around, she enquired if Serena was free to discuss a patient this afternoon. Serena gave her a brusque growl and stomped out. After a curt nod to Leah, Bernie didn't acknowledge her for the rest of the day. She was furious on Serena's behalf.


	2. Chapter 2

'You've been stomping about like a bear with a sore head' Ric remarked astutely. He'd eaten the last custard cream and was starting on the speculoos biscuits. His family in Amsterdam sent him a tin every Christmas and Serena, Sacha and Bernie had developed a taste for them. 'You clearly don't get on with our new F1. Spill.'

Serena sighed and crumbled a biscuit on her plastic plate. Guinevere's yellow bunny plate. She kept it in her office to use. Reminded her of her grandchild. She took her time in explaining Leah's behaviour and what, in particular had happened the week before.

'She did what?' Ric was astounded that a junior member would take such liberties.

'Yes, well.' Serena had that pinched mouth granny look that signified anger and displeasure.

'Aside from that disgusting behaviour, I'm surprised that she picked you.'

'So was I. She could have picked you, you randy old goat.'

The atmosphere began to lighten as they cracked reluctant smiles over a dire situation.

'I wouldn't have gone for her. Not my type. She'll learn that she's not yours either.'

Serena scoffed at the idea of such an age gap ever appealing to her. She said as much. Ric raised his eyebrows.

'I was referring to something else. Your first Sapphic experience.' He said pointedly. 'Not something you forget.'

'Certainly not.' There was a hint of a smile on her face he couldn't interpret.

'Am I missing something here? I believe that that expression does not go with that story you just told me' he said accusingly. 'Is that a smile I see?'

Serena rolled her eyes.

'What makes you think that was my first?'

'Excuse me?'

A slight rustle echoed around the room.

'I don't understand.' He didn't.

'You asked a question, I'm telling you the answer. You just assumed we were talking about the same person. And before you ask, there is no hope in hell that I'd ever consider that ferret. I barely touched her scaly lips, thank goodness.'

Ric snorted at the unflattering description of Leah. He leaned forward speculatively.

'Tell me more.'

Serena made an unusual high-pitched wavering sound of indecision. He scooted his chair even further forward. He gestured for more.

'Do I…know…her?'

'No.'

Serena leaned back and surveyed his gleeful face.

'Name?'

She fiddled with her pendant reflectively.

'Caroline. We met in a bar.'

'Give me more.'

'Tall, blonde. Quite a pair of double Ds.'

Appealing to Ric's preferences, good job, he was a breast man. He appreciated it. He grinned.

'And?'

'She approached me and bought me a drink. We chatted all evening. We left. We kissed.'

'Annnnnd?'

'And that was it. No expectations, no pressure, no need to overthink. You should try it sometime.'

'Aren't you going to see her again? Find out what it's really like between the sheets?' Ric waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

'Way to ruin the moment, Griffin.' She threw a pen at his head.

'She had way too much trouble going on her life. Cheating ex-husband, alcoholic mistress, belligerent sons. Her mother, what a hag. She wanted to forget about it and I didn't want to involve myself. I didn't need to take on her shit as well.'

'But if she didn't come with all of that, would you?'

Serena thought about it, fingers twirling her pendant.

'Yes. I believe so.'

'Aha!'

'I liked her. I really liked her. But a long-distance relationship between Holby and Halifax just wouldn't be on the cards.'

Ric sat back with a sigh, biscuit forgotten.

'Now this I didn't know about you.'

'This I didn't know about myself.' She raised an eyebrow.

'How was it?'

'Wonderful. I should have tried it years ago. Sometimes it's a bit hit and miss. Some men take time to warm up. But perhaps women just get it right, right off the bat.'

'Maybe you need to do more empirical research.'

'Maybe' she agreed gravely. She'd never shared her opinion on kissing before. Something about the experience had really blown her mind. He said as much.

'I didn't need to question it. I just let it happen and I got a whole evening of such simple intimacy. I haven't spent so much time and energy just kissing, in a very long time. I'd forgotten how much I missed that.'

Her voice held a wistful tone and Ric thought he'd never seen her seem so gentle.

'Would you do it again? Pick up a woman your own age in a bar for a one night stand? You know.'

Her smile in response told him the answer and they laughed with glee. Hell yes she would. He detected a bit of excitement from her, she was seriously considering her next move, her next date. With a different outlook entirely. Serena Campbell was on a roll.

Bernie hadn't said a word. They'd forgotten she was lying there on the floor, resting her back, stifling her surprise.


	3. Chapter 3

She hadn't met this Caroline in Albies, that's for sure. Everyone would have known about it by now. Bernie battled through the crowd to sit with a solitary Serena, millennial comrades having deserted her a while ago for bed.

They sat back and drank in near silence, just enjoying the company, the warmth pulsing between their touching thighs.

'About Dr Faulkner' Bernie started, wondering if she would have the courage to proposition the other woman as planned.

'What about her?' Serena was on guard.

'I saw what she did. In the changing room.'

Serena looked horrified. _Shit_. She cut Bernie off.

'Can we not talk about that weasel? It's bad enough I have to see her every day.'

'Well I was thinking. What if you discouraged her some other way?'

Serena's mind whirled with possibilities. She went with the first one that came to mind.

'Are you threatening to kick her head in?'

'No.'

'Are you just telling me that's what you're going to do?'

'No. I wouldn't do that. Not without permission.'

They shared a conspiratorial smile. Serena was aware that Bernie could demonstrate a few different ways to injure someone with just her bare hands.

'That bitch. I can't believe she tried that with me. I'll have to report her. What an absolute nuisance this is. We'll be short another F1' she fretted. Bernie took a deep breath and went for it.

'What if she knew you were seeing someone?'

'Somehow I doubt that would dissuade her' Serena muttered.

'What if you made it obvious?'

'How obvious are we talking?'

She looked at the other woman, noted the determination in her eyes. What had she in mind?

'Well, I make a very good rent-a-girlfriend' Bernie carried on, praying that her habitual tell-tale blush wouldn't surface.

Serena stopped mid-sip to stare at her as Bernie fought to hold her gaze. It felt like an hour until Serena smiled contemplatively and sat back.

'Fleur's looking for a date for a party next week. Want to make her day?'

Bernie did not know that. She didn't mind Fleur but she found her a little overpowering at times.

'Erm, I don't think we would be well suited.'

Serena laughed.

'I was just winding you up. You two would be so mismatched.'

'I think she'd rather go with you' said Bernie with a knowing smile.

Serena ducked her head in acknowledgement. Fleur's blatant flirting with Serena was legendary but Serena had no intention of being another notch on her bedpost.

'She's just having a bit of fun. In reality, we'd be throwing breakables at each other in no time. Besides, there are no shortage of admirers lined up for her.'

Bernie sighed, the prospect of even one admirer daunted and thrilled her. She had to admit her envy that the ever-resourceful Fleur was a genius at getting her needs fulfilled. She said as much.

'She's quite a whirlwind' Serena agreed.

They finished their glasses in silence. Bernie was about to give up and call it a night when Serena's next words froze her to her chair.

'What services would you be offering, Ms super rent-a-girlfriend, hmmm?'

Bernie took her time in looking up. Heart bursting with a flash of hope, she met Serena's eyes and saw a spark of interest there. The other woman rested her cheek on her hand and waited.

'I'd improve on my usual services. I'd bring you coffee and throw in a kiss to start the shift' she said, voice holding steady. She could do this. Serena was smiling. It was a good sign. She carefully listed the ways in which she'd be a good girlfriend to rent.

'Much of that you do already. What else will you give me?'

Serena's words were deliberate. While listening to Bernie talk, it had only just occurred to her that she'd never noticed the nature of their friendship.

'What would you want?' Bernie would give her everything.

'What would _you_ want in return?' Serena nudged her.

'Breakfast.'

'With me?'

'Of course.'

'You want to be paid in something you already have?'

Bernie shrugged.

'You want for very little Ms Wolfe. Where's your ambition? Tell me what you really want.'

She was right. Bernie should at least try and show her what she wanted.

'I'll tell you later. When we've started' Bernie declared confidently. Serena smiled with relief. She'd been a bit disconcerted by this hesitant side of her colleague. She scooted over and nudged Bernie's foot with her own, noting the hitch in her breath. Leaning closer, she whispered in her ear.

'You do realise that our reputations will be shot to pieces? There'll be no going back.'

Adrenaline flared through her veins as Bernie's competitiveness stood to attention and saluted. She was a risk taker by nature and working at Holby had dulled that somewhat.

'I'm willing to risk it if you are.'

Everything hinged on Serena's answer and she hoped it would be the one she wanted.

A slow press on the lips ensured that it was.

'Let's do this.'


	4. Chapter 4

'Ready to start, I see.' Serena accepted her morning coffee and the promised kiss. Brisk and affectionate, it was a good start. Bernie was taking this seriously.

'Plan of attack, snog everywhere' she replied. 'If we're going to ruin our reputations and annoy an F1, we'd better make a spectacle of ourselves.'

'You'd better prove yourself to be the girlfriend you said you would be.'

'Oh I will.'

Serena felt giddy and reckless at Bernie's wicked smile, at their plan. It was going to cost them in dignity perhaps and she didn't know how they were going to end it but that was a discussion for another day. The door opened and she threw herself at Bernie, almost knocking over the carefully perched coffee. It was only Raf.

'Woah, what have I missed here?'

Serena looked up from a red-faced Bernie and affected a shocked expression.

'Knock first! If you could just state your case and get out.'

'Better get started on the ward.'

'Ah, yes, will do.'

He withdrew with a shell-shocked look on his face. Bernie tried to moderate her breathing. This much Serena in the morning was exhilarating.

'Do you think he'll gossip?'

Serena tried to ignore the fluttering in her belly at being so up close and personal with her co-lead. She picked up the coffee and tried to play it casual.

'Hopefully. This had better work. Is it bad to say that I really hope she gets pissed off enough to throw in the towel at the end of the week?'

Bernie tried to not feel disappointed that a week was all that she was going to get. She debated whether to go all out or hold back.

'Is it bad to say that I really wish I could be that cup of coffee?'

Serena sprayed out coffee all over the desk and laughed. Sometimes Bernie could be outrageous. Bernie decided that the holding back thing was on hold this week.


	5. Chapter 5

Leah hadn't spoken to her that day, past the usual interaction. She looked distinctly ruffled. Every time she tried to manoeuvre closer to Serena, something blocked her way. It could be Bernie's lunge for the files. It could be Raf's unsuspecting interruption, it could be Serena turning to catch Donna at the last second. Serena could feel Leah's eyes tracking her and it irritated her to feel like she was being hunted. Bernie gave her a reassuring smile every time she passed and that warm feeling stayed with her all day.

'So what's the solution with you know who?'

Serena and Ric were having a quiet drink, keeping their heads down and hoping not to be interrupted. 'Are you going to report her?'

'Not yet.'

'Are you waiting for her to do it again?' He didn't understand.

'Hopefully she won't. I've engaged a deterrent.'

'In the form of?' He thought a pitbull would be best.

'Well. A volunteer. Bernie offered to be my rent-a-girlfriend.'

'Oh?' Ric's eyebrows shot up. That was interesting.

'She's going to be your guard dog?'

'Well, something like that.'

'Well, if I were you, I'd want her to have my back. Good choice.'

Serena thought so too, despite Bernie having chosen _her_. If Bernie wanted to protect her, she wouldn't say no.


	6. Chapter 6

A week. A whole glorious week. Serena consoled Fleur with a box of chocolates seeing as she wasn't going to get her hands on Bernie anytime soon. They made sure to keep Donna guessing every time they closed the shades when she walked past, playing footsie under the table while Ric sat in their office and staged an arm wrestle when Leah walked past. Bernie let Serena win of course. They threw things at each other when Raf was around with Leah glowering in the background. It was like being on holiday.


	7. Chapter 7

'How soon is it to shag a colleague at the Christmas party?'

It was a stroke of luck that said Christmas party was in full swing right this minute.

'You've never been to a Christmas party, have you?' Asked Serena accusingly.

'Not really. I don't really know how to behave' teased Bernie.

'Well, getting drunk, tick. Dancing atrociously to 80s pop, tick. You've done well so far.'

Serena was pleased at how bold her co-lead was getting. There was a look in her eyes that she'd not seen before and she was hoping it would lead to something more intense. Even seeing Leah shooting daggers at them on the ward didn't give her as much pleasure as what she was doing with Bernie.

'What's the next thing on the list?' Bernie angled for the moment that had been building up all week. Serena consulted the clock on the wall. She could feel the tingles running up and down her spine and jolting her, she'd not had this in so long.

'It could possibly be shag a colleague time.' She knew she was being transparent but she was sure her desire was written all over her face.

'When would that be?' There was a glint in Bernie's eye that needed to be tended to.

'Whenever you want it to be.'

 _Or wherever._

In the passageway leading to the cellar seemed to do the trick. It was risky, exposing themselves that way but all thoughts of their mission had been temporarily abandoned. They wanted to release their frustrations out on each other. And they did very well.

Having been pushed up against the wall, Serena's leg was hooked over, dress rucked up on one side, hands unbuttoning Bernie's jeans while Bernie concentrated on sliding her fingers down her co-lead's knickers while grinding up against her. Serena multitasked quicker and in half a minute had one hand in her hair and another rubbing somewhere that hadn't been granted a foreign touch in a long time. Bernie didn't know she had it in her but Serena clearly had the magic touch because nobody had stroked and pulled her hair before, let alone encouraged noises like that out of her. They panted and groaned against each other as Bernie covered her neck and shoulders with savage kisses, one hand on her thigh and the other inbetween it, stroking firmly and relentlessly, matching her partner's movements, spurred on by those delicious moans she made. Lost in the moment, neither of them saw the flash of white in the entrance to the corridor until it had almost gone. Serena opened her eyes to see someone leaving. There were a few people wearing white shirts at the party but only one of them stupid enough to wear a polyester one, Serena heard it rustle. She was elated. Not only had she had had the best sex she'd had in a while (that recent one-night stand with Robbie hadn't quite hit the spot), her adversary was retreating, having finally got the message.

They leaned in and relaxed against each other, Bernie lowering Serena's leg and folding her into an embrace. It took a while for them to get their breath under control. Bernie kissed her temple affectionately and Serena just melted. She wanted to stay in her arms all evening.

'She saw us.'

'She did?'

'Either she'll gossip and leave us alone or she'll leave us alone.'

'Good.'

Bernie sought out her lips and kissed her for what felt like hours. No more talking was needed that night.


	8. Chapter 8

Just as well Jason was away for the night. Bernie woke up in Serena's bed and couldn't think why, at first. Glancing across, she could see a tousled head peeking out of a roll of duvet. She dared not wake her. Grumpy Serena was a thing to be avoided. Getting up and grabbing the dressing gown that was draped on the doorknob, she quietly tiptoed over to the bathroom. Afterwards she crept down the stairs seeking coffee. She knew her way around the kitchen but it was a bit strange to make breakfast in Serena's dressing gown and no knickers. She registered the sound of running water upstairs and concluded that the woman in question was up and ready for coffee. She yawned and stretched her aching muscles. Leaning on the counter and waiting for the water to boil she spent a few indulgent minutes recalling the events of the previous evening; the feel of Serena's dress sliding past her fingertips, her irresistible laugh, the lingering perfume on the sheets and the comfort of that bed when they finally crashed. Bernie had never dreamed of such a comfortable bed before. She'd slept so well. She should get one of those mattresses. Whoah. Was she finally settling down to a suburban life? Very weird.

She clattered upstairs with mugs of hot strong coffee to find a bundled Serena face down on the pillows. She'd dropped off back to sleep. Bernie perched a mug on the bedside table and got back on her side. She could see their underwear on the floor from here. She liked the look of their knickers tangled together like that. She hoped they'd shocked Leah enough, send her running for St James.

 _Serena was having a lovely dream. There was coffee in it. And Bernie. She liked both of those things. She opened her eyes again and there was one of them, perched on the bedside table. She stretched and yawned and then attempted achieving a vertical state. It worked! Sipping and sighing she leaned back and met a pair of eyes. Oh, there was the other thing she liked. There was a lot of hot and strong available this morning._

 _This was a good dream._

'Good morning.'

'Shhhhhhhhh.'

'Sorry, I'll stop talking.'

They sat up in bed drinking their coffee and dozing. They weren't nearly as hungover as they would usually be, but they took the rare opportunity for a peaceful morning.

'What _did_ we do last night?'

Bernie couldn't stop the smile on her face. She'd never been so transparent about a sexual encounter before but that was the effect Serena had on her.

'Made sure Dr whatsherface won't corner you in the changing room anymore.'

'Oh yeah.'

They burst out laughing at the thought of thwarting the ferret faced F1. And when the coffee was finished, they didn't feel the need to get up for a refill. They thought they'd snuggle instead. Maybe without dressing gowns. Make the most of Bernie's generous offer. It would be rude not to.

It was fine until they checked their phones.


	9. Chapter 9

'Why are all of these people messaging me?' Bernie flicked through her WhatsApp messages with a frown.

'Oh really, Ric' Serena tutted. 'I expected this level of immaturity from Fleur. Speaking of which, there she is.' She read the message and snorted.

'I don't think I want to answer.'

'So don't. I'm not. We don't need to explain anything. We've done nothing wrong. We were just very naughty for a week.'

Bernie's heart dropped at the thought of returning to normal, tantalising and tangible but only just. She felt her courage desert her just when she wanted to tell her that she didn't want to go back to that. Normal was lonely and empty. She had been stuck in purgatory for so long that this week felt like sustenance for her soul. She'd felt alive and happy for the first time in years.

Serena could feel her drawing away.

'What is it?'

Bernie sighed heavily.

'We'll have to split up now. Now that our mission has been successful. We've chased the mad weasel away and now we'll have to go back to normal.'

Serena snorted with laughter but Bernie's mournful face twisted her heart strings.

'What's wrong?'

It was now or never. Bernie took a deep breath.

'I should answer your question.'

Serena didn't remember. Bernie took her hand.

'You asked me what I wanted in return. You've given it to me this week. What I wanted.'

She searched the other woman's face for understanding, maybe ridicule, perhaps awkwardness. Serena didn't disappoint. A tentative smile stole across her face as she realised what Bernie had been asking for all along.

'Why didn't you tell me?'

Bernie shook her head.

'I couldn't. I didn't want to risk our friendship. I don't know why I suggested it, I never thought you'd agree to it. I nearly had a heart attack when you did.'

'Well I'd be an awful girlfriend if I let you die of a heart attack.'

'Erm. Well, yes you would.'

Bernie became hesitant once more.

'I don't suppose you'd consider extending the girlfriendship for another week or so?'

She peeked through her fringe to see an amused Serena.

'Only if you kiss me like that again.'

Forget the phones, forget the rain, forget everything for the next few hours. Until Jason walked in and disturbed them.

'Auntie Serena, is it true that you and Bernie kissed? Everyone keeps telling me. Does that mean you're her girlfriend now?'

Their exchanged glances hinted to the truth.

'Well yes Jason, while it doesn't always mean that, in this case it does.'

'Well Dr Faulkner…'

'We don't need to know what Dr Faulkner said, Jason. Get a takeaway and have the TV today, we'll be right here.'

'All day? You can't stay in bed all day.'

'Yes we can. Go away.'

And so the girlfriendship was extended for another week. Several weeks and counting. Indefinitely. At present count, it was four months, three weeks and a day. And not a moment less.


End file.
